Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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