there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
