I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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