his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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