Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
