I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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