Cold hands, warm shart.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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