I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
