when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
