ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
