puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
