dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
