Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize