he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
