meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
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