he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
