this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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