Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
