i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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