Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
