the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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