We won't sleep together?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
