my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
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He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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