Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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