i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
