Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
