Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
