I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
