is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
