I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
