Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
