i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
