apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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