Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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