idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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