Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
