You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You took a bar mat shot.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
