I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
God, I missed his penis.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
