I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
