He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
