I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
