i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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