Who wears a wallet chain?!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize