im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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