U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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