your parents love me but you hate me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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