i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
