She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
