eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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