and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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