i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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