I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize