We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
