you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
