I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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