I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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