Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it was like eating out sand paper
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
