this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
