Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
