Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
