sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
