She is in my trunk
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
