okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
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I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
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I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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