can u get pink eye on your cock?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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