They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
