maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
