What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
